I have been feeling rather down or sad or depressed lately...I cant sort out my feelings at all...days after days i feel worse...though i get happy easily bt i oso get sad easily...sumtimes i just dont understand myself, don understand wat i want, don understand y i am lyk tt...sumtimes i tink tink tink...i guess blogger is my onli way of venting my frustrations and all...I just type my hrts out...sum feelings tt is gg thru inside me is getting on my nerves....I sumtimes feel i need sum self-discipline, I need to have my own thinking, i need not be so forgiving, i need to learn how to reject sum tins so tt other tins can be accepted....family...used to tink its all i need..haha...bt now i am lost...i don noe wat i need animore...bcoz I don noe how to handle things the way i use to animore...i am losing control of everyhthing....myself, my family and all....i don want to tok abt frens bcoz i don reali noe wats the definition of frens...i feel afraid at times when i see everyone working for themselves and forsaking the others...Friends?isn't friends suppose to be for their frens?i don noe...i noe "O"s is coming bt i ain't working hard at all...bcoz i just gt this feeling i might need to retake...tokin abt sub..my best sub is chi and onli combined humans....whahahaha where u wanna go with this 2 sub?i feel tt i need sumone to just drop a coconut on my head...sumtimes i wish i was just a retard..an idiot...so tt i don noe anitin abt the surrounding..i noe is a form of escaping..bt i want to escape...feelings are difficult to describe bt wat i just said is just how i feel...look at the way i blog..the kind of eng...the standard i have...my hse is so damn messy,to the extent tt i don noe where to study...i even feel disturbed when i am watching television...sumtimes i just feel tt i wanna be a corpse...just lay there n do nth.........n sumtimes i noe i just shoot my mouth all..and tok alot of nonsense...blabber wat i shld not...complain to other ppl...bt i just do all this w/o noeing until when i am all alone...tink back n realise i have been saying too much..n i have been troubling ppl...yeah... feel sorry towards bird cox i tink i complain to her the most...n she have to suffer coz she have to list to me...sumtimes i just wish god can take me away from this world...anibodi who read my blog...don ask me if i am ok anot...don ask if i am sad or wat...i am just venting my frustrations...byebye...